we are all filled with wishful thinking.

we are all filled with wishful thinking,
whether we are willing to believe it or not.
the truth of what we are willing to believe,
can be put on the head of a pin,
along with seventeen dancing angels.
wishing,
that after all of our dreams have come true,
that their would be something else left to live for.
to believe in,,
to understand.
to hope for.
to fight for.
to live for.
to die for.
if it is worth dying for,
it is worth living for.
making sure of all of this,
we still need to make the best of it all,
even in the worst of it all.
still,
making sure of all of the things that I need to say.
all of the things that I need to believe in.
I am still looking for myself.
wishful thinking has always been a problem.
not knowing what else to do,
to say,
to believe in.
never knowing what to do next.

the last time that I was here,
where ever here is,
I found myself wondering when it will all get better.
filled with idle thoughts,
emotions.
trying to get it all right on the first draft.
knowing that it all ends,
much to soon.
finding myself being much to careful for my own good.
trying to separate the end from the beginning.
what will become of me,
of all of us,
when our dreams finally come true.
what is there left to live for,
to try and understand,
will we be able to believe again.
to look for something new.
in the end,
I guess that it really doesn't matter.