the love that never was.

looking for something new to believe in.
I should be finding something new today.
maybe today will be the day that I will find what it is that I am looking for.
I should be aware of all things,
but if I were aware of all things,
the I would be God,
and I am far from being God.
there simply never seems to be enough time.
the hours
days
years
all seem to slip away
much to quickly.
I should have lived harder
I should have been born in another time
another place
into another family
another...
and another
and so it goes.
I care about all that I have,
but it just never seems to be enough,
it is never enough
I have become the king of wishful thinking.
convincing myself that it is all true.
the days come
and the days go,
as they always have,
and love for me,
always seems to be just out of reach.