Now, it just seems to me, at least as of this writing, that I find myself wondering whether or not all of this is actually worth the effort that I am putting into it all, but what else is there that I can do. I need to be doing something more with my life then what I see some of the other people that I know are doing with their lives.
Part of it is that I know that I need to be working, and that if I don’t work I don’t eat, but there are times when I wonder if that is all that there is to life. To labor for three score and ten, or by reason of strength, four score, and then what happens. What have we done of any real importance with our lives. Knowing that are lives are more then the sum total of what we have done, but what we leave behind.
Something of greater value then what can be measured in dollars and cents. Maybe I am just being to much of a dreamer and reaching for something that is so far beyond me, that it may never br reached, but what else can I do mat this point in my life other then to just keep on trying, to keep on believing, praying, doing.
To keep on working for a company, that in the end, really does not care, but tells you that it does. I am sure that they do care, as long as you are able to keep on doing all of the things that they are demanding of you, and to do it willingly.
Maybe I am just being much to cynical and that the only thing that I know right now is that at my age, I am getting to be to old of a pony to be starting over. If I was twenty or thirty years younger, then the whole thing would be a no brainier. That is not where I am in my life right now, and it just does not seem to be getting any better. Well it is what it is and nothing more.
At the same time, I should be thankful that I still have a job, but there are times when it does get hard to be thankful when you feel that it is starting to unravel, and there is nothing that you can do but to help it fail, or at least that is some people are saying. In the end, the only thing that I know right now is that it is just what it is and nothing more.
Sorry, didn’t mean to take you down this road, but there are times when the only thing that I can do is just go where the muse is taking me, or where it is that I think that the muse is taking me. I know that I am sounding cryptic in all of this, but I am not in a position where I can start saying all of the things that I would like to be saying about the position that I am in as far as my employment situation is concerned.
Some day soon though, I do hope to be able to unload. Until then, this is simply going to have to do. Thank you for your understanding.
It’s all good. So it goes. Press on regardless.