So this is what it means to try and be a writer. up half the night, drinking coffee, smoking countless numbers of cigarettes, and wondering when I will start making some money at this. well the only thing that I know right now is, that I would be doing this, even if I were not making any money at this.
I write because I have to. I work because I need money, and the world will still be turning, even if I were not here.
the world still turns, because that is what the world does. People are people, because that is who they are.
Life is still life, because that is what life does. Their are times, when I have given up trying to figure out what it is all about.
I have wasted to much time. To much money. to much energy, and have suffered through to many hangovers, trying to figure out what it all means.
in the end, it all means what we choose to believe, and what we have been given as far as understanding. as for the rest of it God only knows, and He isn't saying much these days.
In the end, God is still in control. nothing ever changes that.
So it goes. Press on regardless.