Well here I am again, trying to make sense of what I'm calling my life but I don't think of doing a very good job of it at the moment what else can I do just trying to survive. Of course there is times when I think that there has to be more to life than just surviving, that just being alive. So all I can do right now is just to keep fighting the fight and that when it comes time for me to cross over Jordan I will be hearing those words that all believers long to hear, well done good and faithful servant, enter your rest.
Until that time comes I still have to live this life and do whatever it is I've been put here to do, not the least of which is to serve God, to love God, and to love others as I love myself. Though there has been times in my life were in I have felt not very lovable or not very good about myself but I don't think that's all that uncommon to the human condition.
Not to turn this into a religious statement or testimony, but it simply just where I'm at right at the moment, and there are times in all of our lives when the only thing we can do is just deal with what we have and where we are, and this is where I met at the moment.
The only thing I can do right now is just trust in what I believe in, as if believing in something you don't trust is almost a contradiction, because how can you believe in something and not trust it. While I don't want to turn this into a case of semantics but I just thought I'd throw that in there for better or worse.
In the meantime though the only thing I can say is that my faith my belief system is one of the few things that I have in my life that makes any sense, the rest of it just leaves me clueless. But the world is become to be too complicated to scary too uncertain, but God is still in control regardless of whether or not I believe it or anyone else believes it. To my way of thinking it takes more faith not to believe, that all this happened simply by accident.
That all this is something that simply happened by chance. That, in following that logic, we have just about as much value as an amoeba. So therefore, staying in that vein, we might as well just eat drink and be merry because tomorrow we may die. That there is no sense of justice or goodness or redemption or hope or even love. That there are those who believe that love is little more than just a chemical reaction, then any belief systems is little more than just a collection of myths and legends and wishful thinking.
In the end though, the only thing I can do is just give my testimony, to say that it can be a light in a very dark world. It is better to light one candle than it is to curse the darkness. Sorry didn't mean to preach, but I do hope that for those of you who are searching asking questions, the answers out there, all you need to do is reach out and take it. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
I printed it helps. It does.
It’s all good. So it goes. Press on regardless.