words to live by.
sometimes rest can be a good thing, I should try it, and soon, and often. So it goes. Press on regardless.
For Mom and Dad
mom and dad
you know more now than I ever will,
but at the moment
I'm twelve years old again
and I didn't think that either
one of you,
knew anything that was worthwhile.
you were just my mom and dad.
I didn't know you any other way
and the two of you never had s life
before or after all of this
at least that was what I was believing
who knew that it would have turned out this way
the dreams that you had for yourselves
the dreams you had for me
the dreams that I had for myself.
the two of you knew more than I could ever know
I wish that I could tell you that now,
but the two of you are little more than dried sticks
in a box.
you were smarter than I was ever willing to admit to.
there are still things that I wish that I should have said.
march through my days and nights.
believing in my heart that you are not really dead
that you have managed to live and are young and strong
having all of the answers now.
I try to keep up with all of this
will I ever find happiness again
I am almost willing to admit that this was all a mistake
finding myself wishing that I had never been born
scratching words across sheets of dead trees.
trying to throw myself into something
anything that will let me forget.
writing for something that I know that I will never find,
but I write anyway
waiting for the resurrection
and the life of the world to come
Sunday, October 11, 2020
Moving toward a new understanding of and the way the whole
thing really works.
In the end,
the only thing left to believe in
to hope for,
to try and understand,
because in the end
there are only things that really matter.
faith and love.
so it goes.
press on regardless.
I keep trying to tell myself that it's all good and getting better all the time, and overall this is true, but there are times when I'm wondering why I bother with all of this writing business and whether or not anyone's being reached or is understanding or can appreciate what it is that I'm trying to do and what it is that I'm trying to say. In the end, though, the only person that I have to please is myself. And if other people find what I'm saying interesting that so much the better. Where I'm going with this, I'm really not sure, but there are times when I have to get out my Stradivarius and just start playing into and see who will listen. It's all good.
So, it goes. Press on regardless.
Sunday, October 4, 2020
It is all after the good.
It is all after bad.
It always comes after just what we need to be.
Years filled with laughter and tears.
Life is the sum total, not of what we have,
but what we leave behind.
Sometimes, the only thing that I need to do, that I have to do, is just do all of the things that I have been talking about. It is just a question of priorities. So it goes. Press on regardless.
Sunday, September 27, 2020
for my good
but I fear
that I simply
I first met Miles Davis about 1947 and played a few jobs with him and Sonny Rollins at the Audubon Ballroom in Manhattan. During this period, he was coming into his own, and I could see him extending the boundaries of jazz even further.
I know that there are good things come to those who wait, but it seems that I have been waiting for an awfully long time and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. at the same time, it seems that I just might be waiting for all of the wrong things and I am just being dumb about the whole thing. It seems that my whole life I have been waiting for something or someone to come along and help me with the journey. so far it seems that there have been very few and that the journey has been much too long.
Sunday, september 20, 2020
until we need
God to take over.
not that I am complaining, the reason that I write emails is in order to gethem, but there are times when they come in bunches, which can be a good thing, but I wish that it was a little more consistent, but I will take what I can get. otherwise, all is well and that I will be hearing from you soon, so it goes. press on regardless. so it goes. press on regardless.
Sunday, September 13, 2020
the search for love
the search for money
the world still turns
and nothing ever changes.
Well this maybe pushing things just a bit, but it would be safe to say that 2020 would be the year that most of us will soon forget, for any number of public and private reasons. It's all good because God is still in control. So it goes. Press on regardless.
I don't mind The Boss. I think he's an honest guy. I have some of his records, not all of them. I've met a couple of the E-Street guys, and they seem really cool.
“Either way, he figured a cup of coffee would hit the spot. For what is more versatile? As at home in tin as it is in Limoges, coffee can energize the industrious at dawn, calm the reflective at noon, or raise the spirits of the beleagured in the middle of the night.”
― Amor Towles, A Gentleman in Moscow
Sunday, September 6, 2020
How much time is there in life?
all that we have is the moment
and the moment disappears
much too quickly
in which moments become time,
which becomes days
which becomes years
and then a life
it all becomes much too
as it quietly slips
until we are left standing place
I could not have said this better if I had said it myself. Of course, the one thing That I do know is that there are times when coffee just makes it all better.
Right now, I am finding myself working up to the idea that I am going have to be going back to work on the 13th. I was hoping to be able to leg this out for another couple off weeks, but that was not meant to be. The one thing that I do know is that the whole thing is not scaring me, but I am concerned, that having to wear the mask for six to eight hours a day. The concern being that it will aggravate my COPD, which is what I think happened when I went down the last time, but not knowing that I had COPD. So, wearing the mask just aggravated the condition and also living with pulmonary hypertension, may not be a good thing either. Well the way that it all worked out, I don’t have a choice in the matter right at the moment.
I am just concerned, that if I do go down again, that it will be worse then the last time and that I will have to start the whole process all over again. So, all that I can do right now is just pray about the whole thing and leave it in God’s hands.
In the meantime, I pray that you are well, and that I will be hearing from you soon. It is still good because God is still in control. So, it goes. Press on regardless.
Sunday, August 30, 2020
the search for love
the search for words
the search for meaning
we spend our lives searching
for something that has
already found us
the rest is background music
if you believe it